What Is Success?

The answer I keep finding is that success is however you define it. For a long time I strongly disagreed with that phrase. I believed that contentedness in life is up to each person to choose, but success is a less ambiguous measure.

Typical definitions I’ve heard associated with success have been very different: wealth, social circle growth, achievement of individual (yet socially acceptable) goals, work status.

But the idea with all of those definitions is that if those events result in a person feeling like they are successful, then that is when the person is successful. It is possible to achieve measures and not feel like any more successful than when you started. I think I now understand better why there really is no one measure of success (as frustrating as that lack of concreteness is to someone like me) and why each person gets to define success for themselves.

Lately I’ve decided to choose my own definition of success in life to be the achievement of greater patience. My goal is to never rattled by anything that happens.

Now that hard part will be to figure out how exactly to grow my patience…

 

That Fine Line Between Relaxing and Slacking Off

In my experience there is a fine line between relaxing to keep your sanity and just plain slacking off. My current routine is to come home from work and immediately start watching TV while eating.

I am not proud of this habit. The reason I keep doing it is because I feel overwhelmed from working and dealing with things I don’t particularly want to, and after giving so much of my energy I can’t summon any additional energy to do anything other than mindless consumption, physically and emotionally.

It’s possible if I had no choice and my lifestyle forced me to take different actions, I would eventually adapt and do things differently. But I am not willing to change that without a good reason. Unfortunately, this good reason is a very variable idea, which depends entirely on my world view at that moment. Which leads me to considering the advice that motivation isn’t what is actually needed, but self-discipline.

But – self-discipline only works if you can get yourself to believe that you need to do something because you need or want to get somewhere (even if it’s just to improve your self-discipline and self-control). If you are at a place where the world seems like a cesspool of unsolvable hardships, and you don’t want to participate in life anymore, then there’s some more serious issues that need to be looked at. Some may possibly require medical attention (and please don’t hesitate to seek help, life IS worth living), and some, like in my case, might stem from a lack of seeing any reason to do anything because my world view and understanding has been flipped upside down and reality no longer makes sense.

My personal philosophy, after a few years of life crises ranging from a change in my religious outlook, to recognizing my own physical and intellectual limitations, to searching for a sustainable spot in the hierarchy of the working world, is that I am a consciousness temporarily alive with an expiration date whether I like it or not. I am perceiving the universe around me, and while I am here and alive I can either: 1)Do my best to improve my surroundings, 2) Go with the flow, or 3) Make things worse around me. Of course, I am not a fixed variable, and I can and probably will do all three options no matter what (for example, I can help clean up a river and improve a situation, or put the cart back into its spot after I’m done shopping and maintain a situation, or cut someone off on the road and worsen a situation).

What has been especially freeing in my current life view is the realization that nothing is actually expected of me, the same way that nothing is expected of a fly or a cat. Of course, certain behaviors are natural and will happen, similar to the fly or cat, but this approach has helped me find some meaning in my own life. Because of my understanding that I am just another consciousness in the universe, and that I am self-aware enough to recognize that fact, I am then responsible for my actions, no matter what they are, and I can indeed control my behavior.

That’s where my question comes in next – for a self-aware, yet still emotionally and physically limited consciousness, where is the line where important, sanity preserving relaxation becomes excessive, gratifying laziness? I think the answer is different for each person, and for each time in their life. My answer to myself right now is don’t be too hard on yourself if you want to take it easier for a while, but try to remember that you are here only temporarily and if there’s anything you would like to accomplish or learn or experience, soon might be a good time to start.

 

Lazy, Low-Maintenance Girl’s Guide to Survival is 1 Year!

Last year about this time I finally decided to go for it and start a blog. I was planning to for a while, but fear and uncertainty and the feeling of not having anything worthwhile to share kept holding me back. Eventually though, I began to realize that the only way to get over those fears is to just plunge in!

My goal was to challenge myself to produce consistent content for at least one year. I started off the blog with a bang – posting something new every day for several weeks. Gradually though, I ran out of things to talk about and my posting frequency decreased to something more sustainable for me. I would love to post more often and am aiming to do just that! However, I am still learning so much about the world, people, and myself that it requires more processing time in between posts than I anticipated.

I’ve enjoyed having this blog thoroughly. Not just because I love writing and sharing what I discover and understand about the world around me, but also because of the fantastic content my phenomenal fellow bloggers share. I’ve learned so much by following a variety of people, and it has enriched my life much more than I could have imagined. I would encourage everyone who has thought about blogging even briefly to just jump in! It’s an incredible, fulfilling, diverse, and just overall wonderful experience. I am looking forward to many more blogging adventures, not just for me, but for all of us on our blogging journeys!

 

Survival Strategy #22 – Community

We humans are deeply social creatures, even those of us who are introverted. I am a mix of both introverted and extroverted traits – I need alone time and other people time almost equally. I do, however, love people. I enjoy spending time with others and listening to their experiences and perspectives, and in turn, I am able to replenish my energies and get motivated just by being around other humans that are stumbling through life just as I am.

Without an active community around us, I believe we tend to sink into a self-absorbed, idealistic thought process that eventually makes us feel very disappointed, disillusioned, and horribly lonely. Being surrounded by people can be a draining and challenging task sometimes, but thanks to our nature, it is also crucial to our mental and physical health thanks to the tricky blend of chemicals that our brains swim in, such as oxytocin.

A big part of maintaining our health and surviving in this crazy world is to compare ourselves to others and from these comparisons to adapt the best possible way of living that we can. Although comparing ourselves to others is usually a dangerous and not recommended way to live because we are all unique, being in a community means that you do have to compare yourself to the fellow humans surrounding you and assess if you are where you would like or feel you should be, and if not, what can you do differently to get there.

Sometimes, you can even rely on your fellow humans to help you in getting to where you would like to be. For example, you may be doing great and loving and accepting yourself and your unique gifts, but you have trouble maintaining healthy eating habits. To maintain your health you will need to compare yourself to others who are healthier and realize you need to work on your eating habits and get their support, because it will be better for you and help you survive better.

People help form and sculpt each other in the same way that scientists build on each other’s research instead of starting from scratch each time they work on something. Each human is valuable just by being alive, even if we might not feel like it all the time. Finding a community to fit into can be a daunting task, but it is absolutely a shared human need and most of us are actively looking. Don’t give up – we need you and what you intrinsically bring with you, whether your realize it or not!

 

 

 

 

Review: Revlon Frizz Control Hair Dryer

As a lazy, low-maintenance girl I am guilty of the terrible hair styling sin of going to bed with wet hair pretty much every night. I generally find that this method allows my hair to be clean and dry in the morning and I get to style (or not style) it and be ready for the day in a significantly shorter amount of time with a substantially smaller level of effort.

In spite of my preference for the path of least resistance, I do like to be prepared for any occasion, and as such I had bought this Revlon blow dryer a WHILE ago. It wasn’t until about a week ago that I finally needed to use it and took off all the tags and tape and opened it up.

Revlon Frizz Control Hair Dryer

 

My first impression of what I found inside was an OCD rush of approval as I found that each component of the hair dryer was packaged in its own little plastic bag – the main hair dryer piece, the clip-on piece, the plug, and the manual were all neatly packaged in separate little plastic bags and taped up.

After I successfully unpackaged all the pieces from their plastic baggies, I proceeded to put the clip-on piece on the main hair-dryer piece, just like it was shown on the picture. This task ended up being a lot more difficult than I expected. There were no lock grooves, and twisting it couldn’t consistently be done smoothly and ended up making the clip-on piece come on lop-sided.

Fortunately, after a minute of experimenting, I was able to twist the clip-on evenly after snapping it on first, which terrified me because it felt a little too resistant and I didn’t want to break it.

With that part done, I plugged the dryer in, set it to low, pushed the red button the plug piece to get it going after initially being confused why it wasn’t doing anything, flipped my hair over, and began my seldom practiced hair drying ritual.

I found that the dryer wasn’t drying my hair fast enough, so I turned it up to medium, and eventually high. I may just be out of tune as to how long blow drying hair should take, especially hair as long as mine, but after about 5 minutes I was too tired of holding my neck in a upside down position with no significant hair drying happening, so I gave up with 2/3 wet hair.

I suspect if I was more patient with the dryer and used it properly, I would have gotten better results. I’m still not sure why it smelled weird when I used it though – possibly because it was so new? I’ll definitely try drying my hair with it again sometime just to see what results I get next time, but so far my lazy, low-maintenance rating for this dryer is not very positive. It is a gorgeous and very affordable hair dryer though!

Survival Strategy #21: Self-Perception

Self-perception is a tricky concept. It can either help us immensely when we’re working towards our goals or hurt our efforts. If we perceive ourselves with an accurate view of how we truly are, we will know what to work on to improve ourselves and what actions to take to get to where we want to be. But if our perception of our skills and personal abilities is skewed, we might end up working in a completely unhelpful direction because we aren’t aware enough of what our needs are.

The difficult part is in finding that balance in seeing ourselves how we truly are, without any undue pity or prideful extremes in our self-view. I find it easier to look for that balance when I’m trying to see myself through the perspective and abstractness of another person’s point of view.

As a very simple example, if I trip over the doorstep on my way into the room, to the people inside the room this is a very unexpected and potentially humorous event because adults don’t typically trip on doorsteps. Depending on the witnessing individuals’ personalities and social grace, they may either voice concern or laugh at the event.

No matter what their input, I will still immediately feel shame and embarrassment and continue feeling it whenever I think of that event, possibly for a long time afterwards too. But from the other people’s perspective,  they will express some form of feedback for a few minutes and go back to whatever they were doing, very soon forgetting the event – which is exactly what I would do if I watched someone else trip over the doorstep. Think of yourself the way you think of other people – you are just a human too, with all that potential, awesomeness, and humility.

Maybelline Foundation Review: Dream Matte Mousse

Following my previous failed foundation experience, I was very keen to get back into searching and experimenting. The next time I went to Target I picked up this foundation by Maybelline for $7.49. I was drawn in by its enticing “matte” phrasing on the cover, which I felt would get me more coverage than the dewey coverup I tried last time. The packaging was also sealed in this one, which I was very pleased about. Unfortunately though, because of that I couldn’t experiment with the color, but I figured a medium beige would be a safe start for me.

When I got home and got to opening the packaging, I was very happy that no tools were needed to cut the plastic wrapping off. It ripped off very quickly and cleanly and I was good to go!

I never used a mousse foundation before and I loved how dry yet smooth it went onto my skin. It was very easy to blend and covered my red and acne spots with medium to full coverage. The only issue was that this shade was too dark for me.

But! I found a workaround. I used the Covergirl foundation from my previous post as an overlay after I finished blending this foundation. I loved the results! I was able to get the lighter sheen from the Covergirl dewey coverup, while still having my problem areas covered with the matte mousse foundation. I also liked the contrast between the darker Maybelline foundation and the lighter Covergirl foundation – I felt like they balanced each other out.

I am happy to say that I believe I have found my new coverup routine – it’ll be a double effort from two different products, which old me would denounce as too much work, but I’m starting to see that in certain cases, it does pay off to give some extra effort!

 

 

Covergirl Review: clean Liquid Foundation

As a lazy person with not the clearest or most even facial skin, I struggle with finding flattering foundations that can help me present a better, cleaner version of my face. Recently, my local Target has not been keeping a steady supply of my most frequently used and approved e.l.f. foundation type, and I decided it’s time to experiment to find a new type.

My goal was to find a new affordable foundation in a store that I frequent for other purposes as well, not just makeup. For this reason, the next time I was at Safeway to replenish my food supplies, I also picked up this very promising Clean liquid foundation by Covergirl. I believe the price was $10.99, which was a bit more than the e.l.f. foundation I used to get, but still a very decent price by my standards.

Alluring New Safeway Based Foundation

The next day I opened up the packaging and was very excited to try out this new foundation. There were no significant challenges with the packaging, though I did need to hunt down some scissors. I was happy that the foundation was a completely sealed deal, since I am paranoid about contaminants being added to my already acne-prone skin.

 

Because of this acute fear of contamination, when I realized that this was a pourable type of bottle, my enthusiasm was slightly dampened. But I was still pretty excited to try out the product itself.

Pourable Liquid Foundation

Since my skin is neither excessively dry nor oily, I felt that the “Normal Skin” and the shade of classic ivory would be very appropriate for me. I was right on both accounts, however, I realized after I put the makeup that I didn’t get what I actually wanted, which was complete coverage. My skin didn’t look much different than how it did before any makeup was added to it. The red spots and blackheads on my face were just as visible, except now there was an oily gleam to my skin because of the makeup.

I believe this product would work very well for someone who is either an expert at layering makeup or who has very good skin already. But for me, this foundation will not be a staple replacement for my previous foundation. The search will continue!

 

Survival Strategy #20 – Mental Bandwidth

Bandwidth is defined as the energy or mental capacity required to deal with a situation. I was introduced to the concept of mental bandwidth a few years ago, and the simple analogy made a lot of sense and stuck with me. Although this concept has a lot of other names under which it is known, to me this particular term is very descriptive in the way that underlines both our limit and our capability to overcome this limit.

Like any physical muscle that requires a lot of exercise and proper nutrition to function at its best, our mental capacity or bandwidth requires as much, if not more, careful maintenance. Humans can be capable of incredible feats, but not without the proper groundwork or exercise beforehand.

However, an important idea to remember is that muscle growth and improved overall health benefits of the workout can’t be transferred from one person to another – everyone needs to put in the work for themselves. And just like with any good exercise regimen, it’s very important to take care of yourself and slowly increase your mental capability. You can and will be able to be where you want to be! Just not instantly.

Low-Maintenance Hairstyle – Step 3: Switching It Up

Although it can be very comforting to have the same hairstyle you can fall back on every morning and be guaranteed a decent result, sometimes it’s a good idea to experiment, not matter how much work this might seem like initially.

You never know when you might come across an even easier to maintain regimen. For example, for many years I sincerely believed that having a bob would be the least hassle option imaginable for a hairdo. Long hair wasn’t even considered an option actually, because of how much work I thought it would be.

Interestingly enough, it was due to my laziness that I inevitably skipped a haircut and had my hair grow out a little longer than a bob – and I loved it! Turns out, for my particular hair texture, long hair is WAY easier to maintain than a bob is. Because my hair is somewhat curly, when it’s shorter it just twists and pokes out at weird angles that I then need to flat iron/curl into place. Because I had short hair for most of my life, I never even knew that there was another way to go about hairstyling, and I assumed that the longer your hair, the longer you will need to work on styling it because you would just extend your current routine to match your extending hair length.

Fortunately, I was wrong and am very happy with my longer ‘do, which weighs my hair down and doesn’t require as much sculpting in the mornings as the bob did. I have been much more open to experimentation such it grew out, and look forward to whatever other things I might learn.